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We're scrapped Valentines, we're tangerine rinds

we're crimes, crimes, crimes

Created on 2007-10-03 00:48:11 (#13947338), last updated 2008-05-22

194 comments received, 432 comments posted

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7 Journal Entries, 2 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 15 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	Asuma Sarutobi
Birthdate:	10-18

Bio

It's Hard To Be A Saint In The City

Name: Asuma Sarutobi
Age: 31
Sexual Preference: the ladies
Division (also include meaning for their being here): Ceno technically, with long and frequent trips to Celo for business (and for business, if you catch his drift)
Background (at least two paragraphs): There is absolutely nothing special about Asuma Sarutobi. Really, ask anyone. Nothing notable, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing that would even remotely indicate that he is living up to his potential. Seriously.

Because Asuma has so much potential, as all his teachers and instructors and commanders have informed of ad nauseum since he could understand their words well enough to blow them off. Being the obligatory progeny of one of the Arceros’ most decorated and respected commanders has that effect on people. Which is why they were all so terribly disappointed in him when he proved himself to be so…average.

Asuma doesn’t remember his father, not at all, not even a fleeting whisper of a memory, which is probably what makes it so easy for him to hate the guy for putting all this expectation on his able but unwilling shoulders. Ever since he was a kid old enough to be recruited into the one of training academies, Asuma just wanted to be left to his own devices. Not alone, necessarily, just…not wherever doing whatever the teachers demanded their resident prodigy be. He quickly figured out that the more he proved himself to he ordinary and boring, the more they got off his back. So he took careful measures to ensure that all his work and test scores and reports and training results were so bland and average and normal that the adults around him began to lose interest. Which worked really well until Asuma reached adolescence and discovered the wonders of chasing skirts and recreational substance use, and began wandering into class twenty minutes late and would completely forget that he was supposed to be kinda dumb and would pass with distractingly flying colors. His teachers were onto him like bloodhounds and this time they took a new track – now they would not stop pestering him until he delivered what they wanted to see. And since Asuma was always better at saying “yes” than “no” he humored them. And was pronounced something of a genius, much to his displeasure.

The son of the Sandaime was quickly recruited into the military, where he immediately realized that he had zero interest in becoming a legacy. He went back to his determinedly just so-so ways, and his instructors – in between pulling out bloody chunks of their hair – placed him into the Arma ranks early, hoping to awaken his slumbering genius.

Asuma found the Arma…interesting. They were grittier and messier and more direct than their Arceos counterparts, forgoing things like missions and ranks and black ops for patrols and questioning and investigating. The Arma presented Asuma with human puzzles to be solved the old fashioned way. And he liked it. So when the higher-ups noticed his flowering ability, they quickly offered him a transfer and advancement into the Arceos.

Asuma politely declined. Well. He said no, at any rate.

Asuma applied himself to the workings of Arma with the vigor he had heretofore only bestowed on the pursuit of the opposite sex and his passionate love affair with cigarettes. After getting his ass handed to him in a street brawl, he started studying the finer points of hand-to-hand combat, to keep a step above the next guy who tried to, y’know, make him not alive. He developed a certain reputation of expertise with brass knuckles, not that you’ll ever hear anyone say that to his face. That story about the switchblade fight is probably just a rumor, too. Only criminals use switchblades or brass knuckles, and only psychopaths use both. Don’t even get him started on the whole “sniper” thing. Just office gossip. Kids these days. His unparalleled skill with darts (whic the entirety of his squadron can bemoan along with their empty wallets) is purely coincidental. (The harmonica rumor though - that is totally true. He is a genius with that thing – no matter what the idiots jealous of his musical talents say.)

Asuma has risen through the ranks of the Arma in a subtle sort of way. Nobody comes to him for orders, but everyone comes to him for advice, whether it’s his opinion on whether or not a subject is lying to where a serial killer might strike next or what does it mean when she says “she’ll call you.” Asuma knows where he stands. He just doesn’t have great posture.

These days, you can find him working on investigations in Celo, supervising the border patrols and maybe doing the occasional under cover operation. When he’s off duty, he likes to spend his time haunting some local bar, nursing a beer or two and chatting up the waitress, or on some corner indulging his pack-a-day habit. Because really, he’s nothing special.

Personality (at least one paragraph): Asuma’s personality is a lot like his past – amusing, but evasive. He has an acute, wry sense of humor that he indulges at every opportunity and at anyone’s expense – if you’re the butt of one of his jokes, it probably means he likes you, so please, lighten the hell up. In fact, you’ll probably be so busy blushing at laughing and ducking your head that you’ll sort of forget that he didn’t answer your question, or notice when he slides out of the room. But if you can hang around long enough, provided you don’t annoy or spook him – and the secondhand smoke doesn’t kill you – you’ll have a helluva friend in Asuma. He’s loyal to a fault and surprisingly selfless when the occasion calls for it (luckily it doesn’t call for it very often, or his reputation might be in trouble).

He gets irritated quickly, but he forgives just as fast. His heart may be tarnished, it but it’s made out of relatively pure gold…relatively. That being said, if you’re sporting an extra X chromosome, you’ll find yourself on the receiving end of Asuma’s charm and humor and sly smile. Just don’t take it too bad when he doesn’t call. And he never calls, as half the female population in two districts can attest.

Does Your Daddy Have A Shotgun?

Stats:

Height: 6'2"
Weight: 190 lbs
Medical Info: makes an odd sort of wheezing sound when he runs, which has NO SIGNIFICANCE WHATSOEVER, JUST FYI
Eyes: Dark blue-green
Hair: brown
Physical traits: stocky build, wide shoulders, omnipresent five o'clock shadow
Talents/abilities: trained Arma officer, oddly accurate aim, harmonica genius

Permissions

Angst? Yes.
Attack? Yes.
Serverly injure? Discuss.
Kill? Discuss.
Non-con? Discuss.
Het/Yaoi/Yuri? DUH/Discuss (everyone's made a few drunken mistakes, right?)/NA
Rating? R (ie, I suck at NC-17, but I'm game if you are)

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